Down With "The All New Martha"

Anyone who has been tagged with a small bag of pot, caught driving with just one too many beers under their belt, or any other minor infraction may find themselves in a tight knot when trying to enter from Canada to the USA. The American Customs Agency has very strict rules and regulations for immigrants crossing the border into their country.
In fact, you probably won’t get in, especially if you did small jail time for the aforementioned infractions. But what about lovely Martha Stewart? How come she comes up to Canada with our arms opened wide, the red carpet treatment and without a glitch?

Martha, the ex convict, told Fortune magazine what she learned in prison was that she “really could not be destroyed” from her cell in what has been dubbed as “Camp Cupcake”, a federal prison where she was treated like royalty.

The question all Canadians should be asking is how “The All New Martha” managed to cross our border, as a known criminal, and why the humungous rant about Martha’s visit to Novia Scotia? There should have been ravaging protests coast to coast demanding Martha stay home! But no, we welcomed her, more so, that the President of the United States. Canadians have lost it.

Hell, even Shania Twain was seen making poutine with ole Martha…and that is news? The real headlines should have read:

MARTHA STEWART
TAKEN AWAY IN CHAINS
AT CANADIAN BORDER
AND SENT BACK HOME

Christmas (are we still allowed to use that term for the 25th.?) shopping today in London, Ontario we walked into the Sears store, a great Canadian institution and guess what the very first thing we ran into was…yep, Martha. Well, not actually herself, but her great display of goods for sale…and there were people actually buying the goods. I wonder if any of those goods were smuggled?

May God bless Canada … whoops, sorry, I remember now in Canada, to be “politically correct”, we must not mention God and we must not demean “The All New Martha”. I say, God should damn Martha forever and ever Amen, and while He is at it, give us back OUR Canada!


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